Family

First of all, What makes a family, really a “family”? This subject is so hard for many its almost like walking around on egg shells.

When I was younger I was definitely blessed to have a “normal” type of family, as though I thought. Yes, I had parents who were together, two older siblings who always picked on me, and always spent time with my cousins throughout the year. I thought that was the average kind of childhood.

Once I got went into public school I met my current best friends with COMPLETELY different stories from one another, and I had a tiny bit of a new prospective.

Later on in years after tragic events within the family that almost separated us around the time I was in Middle School it was weird and hard for me. Being so young and not knowing why it almost felt like no one was talking, MAYBE once a year. Let me tell you, we all live within in 40mi of each other, so its not an excuse for living far away. I never knew why this was happening but once high school started, all the cousins were growing up and I started questioning everyones actions and how we all treated each other.

I realized all these tragic events in our lives and drama behind those problems have never been resolved between ANYONE. 

Now you are probably thinking, “Well what’s so bad about that? You still have them? You get to spend time with them!” Let me tell you, I am so grateful for my family, but there are deeper wounds that need more than a band aid for any of us to be real or communicate and each family member shows different signs of it, whether its drinking too much, talking shit on every person with every other person, only choosing specific conversations that only please yourself, or my “go to” just don’t show up. Because in my eyes it’s better to save the migraine I get with these people than to put on a fake ass smile.

Now, I didn’t say all of this to brag or talk shit, I said it to bring of the fact, family is who you make it. Who you invest your time not only because of holidays or big events, but because you thrive to see the others? I have been growing my “family” for the past 10 years and I couldn’t be happier. 

Of course, I am still thankful for my blood family and would anything for them, but I don’t let my hopes get up and invest into something that has let me down most my life. I share this because, we all come from different backgrounds BUT on some level we can all relate in a pinch of a way to each story of a person and help each other grow from events in the past. 

I would not take back anything I’ve been through in my childhood, it has made me the person I am today, able to overlook situations I am in and really think about who or what I’m talking about or act before I speak. I also wouldn’t take it back for the family I now have today. JStay tuned for my next post leading to my journey talking about friends, who essentially are my family! 

If you or anyone you know needs to share or just simply rant, I would love to hear what you have to say or been through. Go ahead and contact me through “Contact info” in my list up below! Or Send me a DM @Jilliannklatt on Instagram. 

Thank you so much if you have made it this far! 

When times get hard…

This picture was taken August this last summer.

My sweet Nannie was 83 when she was diagnosed with a very common heart problem where in easier words, the heart needs to be shocked into place. She was the healthiest person I knew always watching her diet and making an effort to work out. This picture was taken 2 weeks before she passed away. This picture was at one of my cousins weddings when we all danced the night away.

Symptoms of her getting week didn’t happen until the day after this picture, we took a trip to Bass Lake which is 40 mi from Yosemite. During our trip she wasn’t able to sleep at night, having to sit down every few steps and not able to go on the boat. We knew something wasn’t right so a friend of ours drove her back home before the trip was over.

A week after that she had 4 cardiac arrests and a heart attack before we were informed she wasn’t going to make it, and if theres one thing she always told me, it was she never wanted us to be by her side on her death bed.

My Nannie was my biggest fan, always encouraging me, and my rock when I needed someone to talk to. I always imagined her being at my wedding, meeting my children, and just being in my life a lot longer. This is something I never saw coming for at least a couple more years… but life will surprise you, and its how you cope with it, not necessarily “fix” it. There is no bringing her back, but I can make myself a better person, eat healthy, work out, and keep her British traditions relevant. Time doesn’t always fix things but giving grief time helps me to see why the bad things happen in our lives.

THANKSgiving!

Marina District

Lets be for real… this past year has been hard, which sometimes makes it hard to see the good in life. If theres something I’ve learned recently it is to be thankful for even the smallest things. As in; health, the sun, being able to breathe, or even being able to touch or see. Living in SoCal we value items more than life sometimes, trust I do it all the time, but when you take a step back and realize how much we are truly blessed with, life can seem a whole lot easier. The hardest part for me was being with family knowing some aren’t here today with us.

For me, being with friends and family who know and/or feel my pain makes it a lot more smooth to get through the holidays, because lets be real… Its not always the best to mourn and be a Debby Downer, it can help to look back and appreciate those times that were funny and memorable, of course with time involved.

This trip to SF was to rekindle our family and get space from memories with ones we lost within this first year. We started our trip off with a walk along the Bay on the beach. The hotel we stayed at was a 10 min walk from my aunts house which was so fun because we just scootered everywhere.

This momumental park is up the street from my aunts house, I thought it was so pretty I had to capture it!

We mainly hung-out at my aunts house because it was so delightful to stay and jump on the trampoline with the kids. (Side-note; its a springless trampoline…) This trip was much needed for my family after this hard season we’ve all been going through, and I wouldn’t change it for anything!!